After nearly sixty years with words, a competence has developed in providing appropriate sentences, and even paragraphs for birthdays, anniversaries and other occasions. Words for public occasions can be provided in an adequate, if not expert manner.
The most difficult words are those needed for personal moments. Walking to work this morning I remembered a heated conversation with Silke in January and then later on the car radio they played an old Madness song, “My girl’s mad at me:”
My girl’s mad at me
Been on the telephone for an hour
We hardly said a word
I tried and tried but I could not be heard
Why can’t I explain?
Why do I feel this pain?
‘Cause everything I say
She doesn’t understand
She doesn’t realise
She takes it all the wrong way.
From 1980. The passage of nearly four decades has not lessened the sense of being inarticulate in important moments, the sense of not having words that properly express the feelings inside. Sometimes, the words serve only to cause pain. Sometimes, the wrong words are used in the wrong way with the wrong results. Sometimes the words just won’t do.
There is a sense of knowing that this is not how it should be; knowing that it could be done better, knowing that it should be done better. Sorry Silke.
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